


Darkness Rises and Light to Meet It

by geeky_gabriela15



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ben Solo Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Dark Rey (Star Wars), Dark Side Rey, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Friends to Enemies, Heavy Angst, Jedi Ben Solo, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Rey/Kylo Ren, There will be some fluff, Young Ben Solo, Young Rey, also Rey becomes Kira Ren, mostly pain, seriously a SLOW BURN
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2020-10-18 23:40:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20647613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geeky_gabriela15/pseuds/geeky_gabriela15
Summary: “Rey!” his yell echoes through the walls and reverberates in Kira’s bones.She turns sharply with tense shoulders and a face ready to snarl. She says nothing for a few moments and takes in the sight of Ben Solo.“Rey is dead!” She yells, venom dripping from her voice, “She was naive and weak, so I killed her! Rey was nobody, I am Kira Master of the Knights of Ren!”“You know that’s not true,” Ben tells her softly, “I know she’s still in there. Somewhere, fighting her way out.”“You are a fool, Ben Solo.”





	1. Chapter 1

The air is dry, and the sand is scorching. The sun beats down on Rey as she sits outside of a fallen AT-AT she had stumbled upon while running. There are tears stained down her round face, that only dried because she is too exhausted to cry anymore. They left her. They left her only a few hours ago and she is terrified. The moment their ship pulled away replays in her head over and over. Her throat is raw from her screaming, and her lack of water has not helped. She can still feel Unkar Plutt’s grip on her tiny forearm, his fingers digging into her skin as she struggled to break his hold. 

She screamed as loud as her little lungs would allow, “Come back! Come back!”

Her voice seemed to crumble with every screech, she remembers Plutt saying something, but she couldn't hear him over her own voice.

As Rey sits in the sand, she remembers her free hand reaching out toward her family’s ship. She screamed for them and felt a ripple through her whole body. It not only shook her to the core but sent Unkar Plutt reeling backward, releasing his hold on her. At the same time, Rey watched her mother and father’s ship explode in the sky. Everyone in Niima Outpost stopped and looked to the sky to see the spectacle, even Plutt looked at the explosion. She watched in fear and lowered her hand, she stared at it, somehow knowing that was her doing. That was when she started running. She raced through the hot, coarse sand as fast as her skinny legs could carry her. Rey had struggled as her feet only slid on the sand as she willed her tiny body forward. After a few minutes of running, she looked back and expected to see Unkar Plutt chasing after her, but there was no one. She didn’t stop running, she had no idea where she was running to, she just wanted to be_ away_. As she ran, a million thoughts swirled in her head, she was in shock. Her parents not only left her on this dry and barren planet but now they are dead, and the tears wouldn't stop pouring out of her eyes. While her mind and body raced, she found an AT-AT on its side half-buried in the sand. That was when she stopped running. She sat down against the AT-AT and blindly stared out at the vast desert before her. 

She has not moved since, Rey isn't sure how long she has just been sitting there, but it is not like it even matters anymore. She has no one. She is alone and she doesn't know what to do. she may have stopped running but her mind hasn’t. Her parents are dead. _You killed them_. She hears a cynical voice whisper to her and even in this desert heat, she feels a chill run down her spine. Rey closes her eyes tightly and pushes the heels of her hands into her eyes as more tears threaten to spill.

“No, I didn’t!” she yells out loud, “I couldn’t have, I loved my mama and papa I could never have hurt them. Something must have been wrong with their ship.”

Rey’s tears stream down her face once more as she desperately tries to convince herself that the words, she screams to the sand are true. Her sobs tear through her tiny, 7-year-old frame as she brings her knees to her chest, wraps her arms around her legs and buries her face in her knees. She lets the tears come and the sobs wrack through her body, she lets the feelings of loneliness and sorrow wrap around her like a blanket. Rey knows that she can’t stay like this forever but for now she will wallow. she knows her life as a child is over, she must find a way to survive, she won’t let this be the end of her. She is meant for better things; she will find a way to live on this horrible planet and she will find a way out of here. But for now, she will let herself be the weeping child that just lost her parents.

A couple of hours later, as the bright sun begins to set, Rey forces herself to get up and go back to Niima Outpost. Once she is there, she finds Unkar Plutt standing there with his arms crossed.

“I knew you would be back, girl,” he says with a sneer, “Tomorrow you will learn to work, how to scavenge, but for tonight you can find a place in the cantina to sleep.”

She nods and heads towards the cantina that Unkar pointed her to. Rey is worried about what the day will bring in the morning, she knows it will be hard, but she will endure. As she walks into the cantina her nose is smacked by the stench of Knockbar Nectar and sweaty bodies. There are a lot of people and creatures at stools and tables, laughing and drinking. She spots an empty booth in the far right corner of the building and heads that way. Rey keeps her head down and avoids looking at anyone. She gets to the booth and sits up surveying the room. No one is really paying much mind to her, no one cares about the youngling that got dropped off here. She is glad no one is paying attention to her, she couldn't handle anyone’s questioning eyes.

It is then that Rey realizes how fatigued she is; suddenly her eyelids feel like they weigh ten pounds and her stomach rumbles. She closes her eyes and rests her head on the tabletop. She feels the sting of tears in her swollen eyes and tries to swallow down the lump in her throat. She takes a deep breath and slowly lets the air leave her lungs. It is then that she hears someone approaching her. Her head shoots up to find a greying woman with bronze skin and stringy silver hair. In her hands, there is a cup and something wrapped in paper.

“I don't mean no harm,” the woman tells Rey, “I just brought you some water and a quarter portion.”

She says nothing as the woman sets the water and portion on the table, her mouth immediately feels a thousand times drier than it was a second ago. The woman offers a smile and Rey grabs the cup, she looks into it and sees nothing but water. Her thirst takes over and she takes a generous gulp. Then she unwraps the paper from the portion and sees a blue-grey piece of bread.

“Thank you,” she says sheepishly.

“Now don't be thinking you will be gettin’ anything more from me. We are all strugglin’ for portions here, but I saw what happened today with your parents and all so I figured you would need somethin’. I’m not one for handouts, but soon you’ll start fending for yourself.”

Rey nods and picks up the portion. The woman turns her back on her as she finishes the water and the portion. Eventually, most everyone leaves the cantina and the old woman from earlier locks up. That is when Rey finally allows herself to lay down in the booth and let sleep wash over her; oblivious to the forces now aware of this little girl on Jakku.

***

Ben awoke to warm sun rays on his skin. The light beamed into his room as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He yawned and stretched his long limbs as he raised himself from his bed. Ben would go about his day as usual; he was always up before the other padawans and went for a walk. He changed into his robes and headed out to his usual spot in the trees. He was never bothered by anyone when he left for his morning meditations. He was sure his uncle knew he did this, but they never talked about it. Ben just assumed his uncle was glad to see him make a real effort at meditating. Little did he know that was not exactly all Ben was doing.

Every morning Ben went out into the woods of Yavin 4 to speak with _him. _He didn't know exactly who he was, only that he had always been there; whispering to him. Telling him to give in to the power, feel the power that comes from hate, anger, pain. The power that comes from the dark. Ben had so much anger inside of him and Luke telling him to simply meditate it away made it only grow, but this voice helped him harness it. He was still a youngling when he first heard these enticing whispers. He was a child with round cheeks, still stumbling on wobbly legs and from then on, the voice never left. It wasn't until he was eleven and his mother and father had just dropped him off with Uncle Luke like they couldn't wait to have Ben out of their hair, when the voice got more intense. He remembered feeling betrayed, especially by his mother, he expected something like that from his father. Han never understood the force and the power that came with the Skywalker blood coursing through Ben’s veins. The voice he heard in his head did, it told him he was destined for great things and that he could attain true power. At first, he thought he was just insane, but the voice convinced him that he just needed help. And now at 17, Ben was getting closer to the power that this voice enticed him with.

He sat in the grass, surrounded by trees and the sounds of nature. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he wasn’t sure why, but the air felt different. Ben relaxed his mind and opened himself up to the darkness that came with the voice. This always made his heart beat a little faster like he knew it was wrong but this power made him feel weightless; this time it wasn't there. He reached but felt emptiness. At first, he was confused, the voice was gone, he thought maybe he had done something wrong. Then, Ben felt a rush of relief like whatever that was inside him that had thirsted for power, lusted after the darkness, was only a whisper. Before, he had felt torn, craving the power of the dark but basking in the light and not wanting to let that go. He tried to reach the voice one more time and again felt nothing. 

Ben pulled himself from his state of meditation and looked around at the trees, everything was calm. He still held anger inside of him, but now it was like the volume had been turned down like he didn't need to dwell on his negative feelings to feel the power. He was confused, he thought he had wanted everything that voice had offered him, but now he was almost content. It was at that moment that He decided he would stop searching for whatever it was that was pulling him to the dark. He would listen to his Uncle and concentrate on finding balance, not power. Ben rose from the ground and took a deep breath once more. He vowed to himself that he would find himself in the light and leave the seduction of the dark behind him.

***

Rey awoke with a start. There was a loud banging that forced her to shoot up in the little booth she was sleeping in. 

“Get up, girl! The days of a scavenger start early!” Unkar Plutt yelled, with no kindness in his voice.

She was up and on her feet in seconds. She saw a large creature that had broad mechanical shoulders and arms behind Plutt. She was scared, he was not human and had big dark eyes.

“This is Krusher, he will show you how to work and survive. I only want good scavengers, girl, so listen well.”

Unkar Plutt turns around and leaves Rey and Krusher to get acquainted. She looks up at him in amazement, she had never seen anything like him. He looks down at her with disdain on his reptilian-looking face.

“Come on then,” he says gruffly, “We got to get a move on before everyone else takes all the good pieces.”

They start to leave the cantina as Rey says, “I’m Rey, by the way.”

Krusher says nothing as they head out into the early morning desert. They walk for what feels like hours. She sees a graveyard of old imperial ships half-buried in the sand. Krusher halts near a big hunk of metal, She isn’t sure what it is.

“I will show you what to look for and how to find the best parts, it will not be easy, girl, and there will be times that you will go hungry. Your life depends on what you can scavenge.”

Rey nods, her little heart beats a little faster, but she is willing to learn how to survive as best she can.

After weeks of following Krusher, learning about the mechanics and the best parts in these abandoned and broken-down ships, Rey is able to go out on her own. She learned quickly; she listened intently to everything Krusher had to tell her. He only took her out with him a handful of times. The two of them together were able to find valuable pieces sometimes getting as much as four portions. She had noticed that after the first couple of times, Krusher gave her a little more than half of their payment. He had cared for her, as much as someone could on a planet like Jakku. Now, it is Rey who goes out on her own. She knows what to look for and how to take apart the machines. Because of her small frame, she is able to get into tight spots and find things most of the scavengers cannot get to.

Rey is walking back to Niima Outpost with her findings in a bag over her shoulder, she carries a staff made of scrap pieces that were worth nothing. She looks up at it, admiring the staff gifted to her a few days ago by Krusher when he told her they would not be scavenging together anymore, and she would need it to protect herself. It is slightly taller than she is but easy enough to maneuver. Although it is made of pieces worth nothing, the staff means a lot to her. It shows the kindness she never expected on this awful planet.

Rey, dripping with sweat in the desert sand, realizes she still has a while to get back to Niima Outpost. She starts to feel something strange like a whisper on the back of her neck while she’s walking. After a few paces, her bag is ripped from her shoulder. Another scavenger stands before her, trying to steal her findings. Quickly she swipes at them with her staff. They dodge and a feral scream erupts from her as she tries to get closer to strike the thief. They dart around her and she chases them. In her mind she wants them to fall, and to her surprise, they do. The thief dropped the bag and turns to find it but instead, they find Rey looming over them. She heard that voice again telling her to _do it. _Before the thief can get up to attack her she reaches out with her small fist and squeezes the air, suddenly choking them. As they struggle, Rey feels powerful and she almost enjoys watching. She watches as the thief's eyes roll into the back of their head and their eyelids slowly shut. She snaps back to reality. Scared, she grabs her bag and runs to Niima Outpost.

Her feet pound into the sand as she pushes her little body harder, further, trying to get away from the horror she just witnessed; what she just did. _What _did_ I just do? Is he… dead? _Rey’s mind races faster than her legs carrying her back to the outpost. _No, he has to still be alive_. She begins to feel her throat closing, she needs water. Breathing heavily, Rey stops with her hands on her knees and head hanging low. She glances behind her, no one is following her. She stands up straight but doesn’t move yet. She looks towards where she left the thief then turns towards Niima Outpost, pondering on whether or not she should go back, make sure the thief isn't dead. _Keep running. _That dark voice in her mind tells her, she shivers and takes a step forward toward Niima; turning her back on the thief that may or may not be dead.

Rey goes to the cleaning station first. She takes a seat and keeps her bag around her shoulder, taking out a piece she begins to clean. she focuses on cleaning out every speck of dirt, she does not want to think of what happened. She doesn’t even understand what happened. How was that even possible, her hand hadn't even touched the thief, but somehow she hurt them. What does this mean? Is she some kind of monster, she had never known anyone else who could do what she had done. She moves on to a new device she scavenged. Scrubbing, she can't stop thinking, maybe she was just hallucinating. The heat had done that before, made people see things that were not truly there. Maybe she had simply wrapped her hands around the thief’s throat. _You are a small thing; the thief would have overpowered you if it was that simple. _That voice scrapes at her mind. The voice has a point. But then again, maybe the heat really is getting to her, surely not everyone hears a voice in their head that isn't their own?

Rey finishes cleaning her findings and heads over to Plutt and his window, where he has the power to feed a scavenger or feed their starvation. She waits behind a teedo, clutching her bag tightly to her chest and eyeing everyone around her. When it's her turn, she walks up to the window and looks upon the gross crolute, dumping the contents of her bag on the counter.

“Hm, what have you brought me today, girl?”

He scrutinizes each piece with a careful eye and stubby hands. Rey waits anxiously, biting her lip.

“This haul is worth… two portions.” 

Rey’s eyes widen slightly, she nods and gladly grabs the two portions lying in front of her. She quickly puts them into her bag, fearing someone will try to take her food. As she walks, she can’t help but smile, this is the most she has ever gotten from one haul by herself in the time that she has been on Jakku. She intends to make them last. 

As the sun begins to set on the desert planet, Rey arrives at the fallen AT-AT she has begun to call home. It has only been her’s for a little over a week. She had been staying at the cantina in the nighttime, but she had been kicked out by the woman who had given her food her first night. She had told her she had "had enough of her squatting”. So she went to the only other place she knew, the place she found by accident when she wept, where she would hopefully be left alone. That first night feels like a lifetime ago, Rey had been a pitiful little girl who had been abandoned by her family, but now after months of labor and starvation and intense thirst Rey had grown. She learned to fend and care for herself because there was no one else who would. But she would still miss childhood and her parents, she kept count of her days on Jakku. At first, it was only in her head, but when she moved into the AT-AT she decided to keep track on the walls. She had found a sharp piece of metal and put it to the wall. Tonight, when she arrived she added the 174th mark. After scratching the mark, she prepares one of the portions, mixing the grey powder with water as she watches the bread form. Once it is ready, she cuts it in half and only eats one piece, saving the other half for the morning. 

Rey is up early in the morning, slightly earlier than she would on a normal day and eats the other half of the portion she saved. Last night before she closed her eyes and let sleep take her over, she decided she would check on the thief. She knows where she left them, she hopes she will not find a body there. With trembling hands, she puts on her eye mask and wraps a cloth around the rest of her little head to protect herself from the eventual sun. Squeezing her staff as an attempt to cease her shaking hands, Rey walks quickly, out of fear or hope, she’s not sure. Her little strides hit the ground with purpose, she repeats in her head _they're not dead. They're not dead._

In the stale air of dusk, Rey realizes just how close she is to where it happened. Her breath quickens but her feet slow. There is a hiss in her mind, _just go child! _Shaken, Rey’s pace quickens by a fraction. She can see it, the spot where there would be a body, but there is only sand. As she gets closer, she looks around, there is no sign of the thief. _They must be alive then_, she thinks, _they have to be_. There were no winds, the body could not have been buried. They had to have gotten up and walked away, _or something else got them_, she thinks as she sinks her teeth into her bottom lip. But if something else got them, that means their death couldn't be her fault, it was this planet. She thinks this over and over, trying to convince herself. _If the thief is alive then there is a target on your back, child. They will come for you. You must find them and end them._

Rey considers this, because she did hurt them but not intentionally. No, she decides, she will just have to be extra cautious. She will not harm anyone. Before was just an accident. She was protecting herself and acting out of fear. She couldn’t hunt them down; after all, they hadn't even harmed her or even stolen anything. Without another thought on the matter, she turns and heads for the ship graveyard, she still has work to do.

Rey’s days continue as they always have, she scavenges, she receives her food, she carves another mark into her AT-AT. Some days are more exciting than others, once she went back to the cantina because the loneliness was too much. That’s when she had overheard a scavenger talking about the legends of the Jedi, how they were skilled fighters and could control people’s minds. He had spoken of a man called Skywalker, that had saved the galaxy, but someone else said that was just a myth, no one really knows where this Skywalker is or if he was even real. The storyteller then tells the skeptic that the rumor has it that Skywalker is rebuilding the Jedi in secret. Rey listens, happy for the distraction. On the 182nd day, she comes across an X-Wing on her daily scavenge. She looks inside and finds a skeleton; it is wearing a rebel pilot outfit and helmet. Hesitantly, she takes the helmet and a few scraps of the fabric. That same night she makes a little doll with the scraps and wears the helmet as she sits atop her AT-AT. She pretends she is a pilot flying far away from Jakku.

Most days are uneventful, and she is left alone. Rey doesn’t see the thief again and tries not to think about it so much. She spends most of her days trying not to think about much of anything other than keeping herself alive. She doesn’t think of her parents and their ship exploding, she doesn’t think of the thief that could be dead, and she tries to ignore the menacing voice that seems to scrape at her mind more and more. She has no idea what any of these things mean and is too afraid to ask anyone about any of it. It's not like she has anyone to really talk to anyway, she definitely will not talk to Plutt. There’s Krusher, but he tends to avoid her eyes anytime their paths cross. She doesn’t blame him, there’s no room to care about anyone but yourself on Jakku. Some nights, Rey feels so alone with nothing but hunger to call her companion. Some nights, Rey can’t help but let the tears lull her to sleep, on those nights the voice calls her weak and it wraps her in darkness that leaves her shivering in the desert heat.

On the 191st day, Rey leaves her AT-AT as the sun is just beginning to rise. The air is cooler than when the sun is high in the sky; it kisses her skin. She treks in the direction of an imperial ship she noticed the day before while heading back to Niima Outpost. Rey wads through the sand in search of an opening to the ship. After walking completely around, she finds a slender gap that she can squeeze herself through. Once inside she sees that that is the only way in and out of the ship, meaning no one else has been in here. She is the smallest scavenger Plutt has. She searches the ship, taking it apart in search of treasure. She finds parts of a solar ionization reactor and salvageable pieces of the engines. With her bag almost full and a smile on her lips, Rey squeezes herself out of the ship. 

Rey walks with air in her step, she knows this is a good haul and will hopefully get paid in the number of portions she deserves. She might even be able to take a day off from scavenging, with the parts she’s bringing to Plutt. Her smile widens as she thinks what she will do instead, definitely stay in her AT-AT. She thinks of the toy she made herself, her little rebel pilot. Maybe she will-

Rey’s thoughts are cut short when she feels someone grab her from behind, their arm wraps around her throat and she doesn’t move. 

“Drop the sack and the staff!” a man’s voice hisses in her ear.

She doesn't move. The arm tightens on her throat. With a trembling hand, she obeys the man and her bag and staff hit the sand with a _clank_. Then someone walks into the side of Rey’s sight, they snatch her bag and staff walking in front of her and her attacker. She looks at their face, it is the thief from before, the one she hurt. 

They dig through her bag and with an impressed _psh _say, “This is a fine lot, girl. It should bring me many meals.”

Out of anger, Rey begins to squirm and fight against the body holding her still. The thief laughs at her, with their head thrown back and mouth open wide.

“You do remember, dontcha’ girl?”

She pushes forward and the arm tightens, it's not choking her completely she can breathe but just barely. Rey looks at the thief with fire in her eyes.

They walk closer, “I should kill you for what you did. You’re dangerous. Or maybe I should take you to the pleasure dealers and make a profit off you.”

She spits at the thief and growls as she feels the man holding her laugh.

_You know what to do, child. Just focus your anger and you can destroy them._

Rey hears the voice tell her this, almost sweetly, but she doesn’t know what to do. She tries to fight against the man once again, but he is too strong, and her attackers continue to laugh at her. She releases a guttural scream from deep within her and feels like her body is on fire. Suddenly the man is pushed away, and she turns to him. Shock and confusion painted on his face as he looks the little girl in front of him up and down. From behind Rey the thief charges at her. She turns to look at them and raises her hand, sending the thief soaring through the air, their body hitting a ship with a loud thud. She grabs her staff and moves toward the man still standing, gawking at her. The color drains from the man’s face as he takes a stumbling step backward; Rey smirks. With a quick flick of her hand, the man’s feet fall from under him and he’s face first in the sand. Quickly the man turns over and sees her stalking towards him. He attempts to get to his feet but Rey hits him with her staff and he is flat on his back. 

_Do it._

A cold thrill goes through Rey, she reaches out her hand and squeezes. The man’s hands shoot up to grasp at the phantom grip at his throat. His eyes go wide as he stares at her unblinking ones. She watches as his eyes roll to the back of his head, but unlike last time she does not release. The man has stopped moving but she does not let go, she watches the stillness with fascination. 

Suddenly, Rey is on the ground. Surprised, she finds the thief on top of her. They strike her in the face, and she tastes blood. They hit her once more and her vision begins to spin. The thief wraps their hands around her neck and pushes down into the sand. The air leaves Rey’s body along with the cold rush of power she felt earlier. She looks upon the thief’s enraged face, the world around her begins to turn black around the edges. _Fight! Get up! You are weak!_

She feels herself slipping, but the pressure on her throat ceases. She gasps for air and hacks up granules of sand. The thief is no longer on her, she’s not sure where they are, she is too weak to raise her head. She knows she didn’t do that. How? Then suddenly aware, Rey turns her head and finds a man. He is not dressed like someone from Jakku. He has long light-colored robes and a beard. He walks closer to her; out of fear she tries to move away. He simply smiles down at her and reaches out a hand.

“I won't hurt you, kid.”

Rey hesitantly takes his hand and he pulls her to her feet.

Still grasping her hand, he says, “Hello, I’m Luke.”


	2. Chapter 2

The air is thick, a breeze weaves through Ben Solo’s hair, a few locks stuck to his forehead with sweat. Shaking his head, in an attempt to clear it, Ben begins to walk back to the temple with one more deep breath. He should feel better, he should feel lighter, but there is something tugging at him. His teeth gnaw at the inside of his cheek. The voice is gone, and the pull to the darkness only feels like a dull ache, but he can’t help but feel alone. He can’t help but feel abandoned. As long as he can remember that voice has always been there; the voice wasn't kind, more often than not it picked at him, whispered darkness and screamed his insecurities. But it was always _there, _it was someone who seemed invested in him. Well, Ben thought to himself, maybe that isn't the right word, but it was present, more than his mother and father were. He listens to the crunch of his steps as he tries to calm his mind. The voice is gone, and he needs to stop worrying about it. He should be glad, relieved even, but Ben just feels lost. He kicks a rock with a grunt and scowls at a nearby tree. 

He arrives back at the temple, more padawans are awake and active now. There’s a couple of younglings outside sparring with sticks. Before he enters the living area, his stomach grumbles at him, he looks down and heads toward the dining hall. There are a few people enjoying breakfast, rather loudly. With a pinched face, Ben walks over and grabs a jogan fruit and plate of blue milk pancakes. He finds a table furthest from the noise. Unable to get the voice out of his head, well the absence of the voice, he stares down at his plate, unblinking. Maybe this is a test and the voice will return tomorrow, maybe Ben did something wrong, maybe he-

“Why so glum Solo?”

Ben looks up to find Titus Lassiter, who sets down his own plate of food across from him. Titus takes a seat with a gleaming smile and warm eyes. 

“Well, more glum than usual,” He says with a laugh.

“I’m not glum,” Ben says with a scowl.

“Yeah, okay.”

Titus is the only person here Ben can actually stand. He was already here when Han and Leia dropped him off. He was kind to Ben, talked to him when no one else would. Ben figured he would get tired of him or that Titus would get sick of his lack of optimism. But neither happened, miraculously, they have remained friends. He would never say it out loud, but he is grateful for Titus especially in this moment. Ben is able to get out of his head a little and just pay attention to him. 

“I heard something’s wrong with Master Skywalker.”

Ben gives him a questioning look and gestures for him to go on.

“I don’t know much, but I heard from Darik that Luke was pacing and looked kinda ticked off.”

“Are you serious?” Ben rolls his eyes, “He paces all the time, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.”

Titus shrugs and takes a big bite of fruit. Ben grows nervous, he thinks that his uncle might have sensed something in him. Luke has never said anything before but maybe it was just because he hadn’t noticed anything. But now something is gone and maybe he felt it. 

“Hey Ben?” Titus says a little softer than before, “ Are you okay? You haven’t touched your food.”

Ben shakes his head, as if the simple act could clear his mind.

“Yeah, there’s just a lot on my mind right now.”

“Maybe you should meditate on whatever is stressing you out.”

Ben scoffs. 

He looks at Titus, takes in his soft smile that seems to never really leave his face, his dark eyes that always seem warm. He is a Togruta, his skin a deep orange and his lekku a light blue and white.. Titus is everything Ben is not; he exudes light and warmth. This is his friend, his only friend, maybe he can tell him what’s really going on. Ben knows he’d be supportive, because that’s just how Titus is.

Laughter erupts from a nearby table, Ben jumps, shaking him from his thoughts. Titus gives him a questioning look but says nothing. He takes another bite of his jogan fruit and just looks at Ben. Scowling, he takes a deep breath and rolls his eyes.

Reluctantly Ben says, “I’m just frustrated, okay?” 

With a full mouth Titus says, “Go on.”

Agitated Ben continues, “I don’t know how to say this without sounding like I’ve completely lost it.”

He pauses to gauge Titus’ reaction; he just looks expectant.

“E-ever since I can remember, there was this thing, always looming. In my head-”

Ben stops. A hush has swept over everyone in the dining hall. Confused, Ben looks around; Titus pulls his eyes from Ben and also looks around, they find everyone else’s eyes trained on the entrance. In the doorway, stands Master Skywalker and he does not look happy. He scans the room and nods, an attempt to put everyone at ease. There’s a dull hum, as everyone begins whispering to one another. Luke strides forward, headed right in Ben’s direction.

His heart rate quickens, and his leg unconsciously bounces under the table as his uncle grows near. Titus’s eyes bounce between his friend and master. 

Luke approaches their table with a, “Hello Titus, Ben.”

There is a quick smile only for the greeting, his face immediately becomes serious again.

Turning slightly to face his nephew he says, “Can I have a word with you in private? Once you finish your breakfast of course.”

Ben grabs a pancake and takes a large bite, filling his mouth. As he struggles to chew he stands and nods. He grabs his plate, swallowing some of the food.

“I’m not that hungry, I’ll go now.”

Titus just watches the exchange, biting back laughter and waving to Ben.

Hoping that stuffing his mouth will keep him from answering his uncle while they walk, Ben takes another massive bite of his food. Luke scoffs and leads the way out of the dining hall.

Neither speaks as they walk through the halls, their steps echoing and Ben’s chewing, is all they hear. He’s nervous, but he is doing his best to not project that, he focuses on regulating his breathing, keeping his heart rate as calm as possible. They continue the awkward walk in silence, heading to Luke’s main temple.

They arrive and go to Luke’s private library and study; Ben stands awkwardly in front of his uncle.

“Is something wrong, Master?”

Luke walks to a chair and sits, gesturing for Ben to do the same.

After a beat of silence, Luke says, “I don’t know. I felt something in the force.”

He looks to his uncle, fear painted on his face and heart rate quickening.

“It was far away; I don’t understand what exactly it was. But I do know that it was a force sensitive.”

“A f-force user?” Ben clears his throat.

“It felt like a ripple, like a great power emerging.”

“A dark power?”

“That's the thing Ben, I can't tell.”

Both men are silent, Ben’s eyes begin to look around almost frantically as his mind races. What if this power is the voice? Is that why it left, because it acquired some power that it needed? _Was the voice just using me?_

“Ben?”

Blinking rapidly, he responds, “Yes?”

“I need your help,” Luke says with a concerned arch in his brow.

“I mean no disrespect Master, but why me?”

Luke scratches his beard and takes a tired breath, “Ben, you and I both know your strength in the force.

Ben’s eyes meet his uncle’s, not knowing whether he should be worried. He can’t decipher the blank look he gives him. He’s not even sure how he feels himself; hearing his uncle say that brought a rush of gratification, but also a chill of fear.

“What would you like me to do?”

“I want you to help me find this force sensitive, I have a feeling that they need help.”

“How are we going to do that?” Ben asks incredulously.

“There is a type of meditation that we can use, but I need your help, it requires more power than I possess.”

“Okay, we can get started I-”

With an amused laugh Luke says, “Slow down there Ben. This type of meditation takes some preparation, we can’t just jump into it. You must center yourself, clear your mind, and reach out further than you ever have before. We will start tomorrow.”

“Okay. Is there something specific I should do?”

“You know what puts you most at ease.”

With a smirk, Ben nods, standing and turning to leave.

“Hey Ben?”

He turns and waits for his uncle to continue.

“I uh- I’ve felt a change in you.”

Ben’s heart skips a beat, but his face remains impassive.

“It’s a good change,” Luke tells him with a smile.

Ben quickly nods and smiles back before heading out the door.

There is no sound but the rhythmic pats of Ben’s feet on the floor as he paces back and forth in his quarters. His fists clench and unclench with every pivot, his bottom lip is caught between his teeth as they press on the soft flesh like a heartbeat. His mind hasn't stopped racing since he left Luke. His thoughts moving so quickly he can't focus on more than one thing for a second. He feels overwhelmed, like at any moment all the emotions churning in his chest will explode. How is he supposed to help his uncle when he can't even control himself? 

Suddenly there is a knock at his door, ripping him from his thoughts. 

“Ben? You in there?” 

It’s Titus. Ben runs his hand down his face and squeezes his eyes shut, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in.

He clears his throat and says, “Yeah. Come in.”

Ben didn't think about how it would look for him to be just standing in the middle of the room, but Titus doesn't question him. He walks over to Ben’s bed and plops down. He says nothing. Ben just watches him, standing there, not moving. Titus looks up at him with his lips pressed together in a straight line, looking expectant. Ben huffs out a breath, rolls his eyes and moves to sit at the foot of his bed.

“Aren't you going to ask me what Luke wanted?”

“Nope.” Titus pops the ‘p’ and almost looks bored.

“Well then, what?” Ben asks, annoyed.

“I don’t know Ben, you were starting to say something at breakfast, what were you talking about?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Clearly it does, you’ve been on edge and you were obviously pacing before I knocked. Something is wrong.”

Ben grits his teeth and lets out an exasperated grunt.

“I said it doesn’t matter, okay? Can you just drop it?”

“Fine,” Titus says matter of fact, “but you need to do something. Get out, go for a walk, practice forms. You’re going to drive yourself crazy in here.”

Ben says nothing, he knows he’s right.

“We can spar if you want?”

Ben shakes his head, “I know what I can do.”

For a few moments, the boys say nothing, both looking at the ground. Then Titus sighs and gets to his feet.

“You can always talk to me Ben, I’m your friend.”

Ben nods but says nothing as he watches Titus leave. Once his door closes, he grabs a wooden box from underneath his bed. He pulls out parchment, a pen, and ink. Writing, physically writing has been a way Ben learned to calm himself years ago. Slowly dragging the ink in every which way, watching the black liquid create whatever he wanted was mesmerizing.

Ben started a letter. They were always to the same person, though she never got them because he never sent them. He would pour his heart on the page, all his anger and frustration but also his love and longing. Writing to his mother was therapeutic, when he was younger and first started learning calligraphy, he sent them to her but eventually, she stopped answering so he stopped sending. 

Ben’s hand glides as he writes out all his frustrations to his mother. Explaining to her how confused he is about the voice’s disappearance, how worried he is. He pours out all his churning emotions from his chest to the page. By the time Ben is done writing, his eyes sting from the tears welling up in his eyes. As he signs ‘love Ben’, a tear escapes and runs down his cheek. With the grit of his teeth and a hard swipe of his hand, he wipes the tear away. He reads over the letter and with a harsh exhale, rips it in half and continues to tear it to pieces. Carefully he places his supplies back in the box and puts it back under his bed. He rises to sit on the edge of the mattress, closing his eyes and taking slow, deep breathes through his nose. Tears begin to pour from his eyes, running down his face. This time he lets them.

Ben spent the rest of his day going through the motions, meditation was especially easy. He practiced forms with Titus and went for a walk around the grounds. Most of the day was a blur. Ben wanted to do what Luke told him, to try and center himself. However, allowing himself to reflect too much lead to his emotions taking over. Now as he goes to meet Luke, he is content with feeling numb. Luke had asked him to meet in the woods, where they could concentrate and not be interrupted. Ben spots him standing by a tree looking pensive.

“Walk with me,” Luke tells Ben as he approaches. 

Ben nods and walks in stride with his uncle.

“Where are we going?”

“There is a place that I think will help us with our meditation.”

Ben says nothing but nods and continues to walk. He feels his palms grow clammy and his heart beat faster. He wants to help Luke find this force user, but he fears it will be the voice he’s been hearing in his head. He’s not sure what that will mean for him and he fears Luke will know that he has been listening to this darkness. ‘But Luke did say he couldn't tell if the force user he sensed was dark or not’ he thinks. Before his thoughts can get away from him, Luke stops.

They are at a pond. Luke says nothing and sits on a large flat rock near the water’s edge. He motions to a rock close to his for him to sit. With an awkward stumble, Ben sits and takes a deep breath.

“Let’s begin with Empty Meditation, then we will, in a way stretch our connection to the force. Like reaching beyond ourselves, beyond Yavin 4,” Luke says calmly.

“Okay,” Ben says nodding.

He watches his uncle close his eyes and ease into the meditation, so he closes his eyes and reaches out, feeling the force coming alive around him. He hears the soft whisper of the water being pushed with the wind. He follows the wind through the plant life around him; feeling the force in the leaves, the rocks, the dirt, the worms in the ground, in his uncle next to him, and finally in himself. He feels centered and calm, completely wrapped up in the force.

Luke feels this and says, “Okay, now reach further Ben. We have to expand.”

Ben concentrates on moving past his immediate surroundings. He moves beyond the pond and goes deeper into the forest; his mind’s eye flies alongside the force as it carries him. He sees the animals and plants pass as he reaches further. Then he sees the temple, some of the younger padawans practicing their forms with wooden staffs. He soars above the temple and moves past it, all while feeling the guiding presence of his uncle right next to him. Their force signatures moving in unison. Ben has never felt so enraptured in the force, meditating with Luke like this has amplified his sensitivity to the force in ways he hadn't imagined.

Softly, Luke says, “Stay focused.”

Ben feels a rush of the force and continues to soar over Yavin 4 in his mind. He is met with more forest on the other side to the temple. This time instead of going through it, they reach higher into the sky. He feels them go higher and higher, soon they will be off the planet if they go any higher. He can almost see stars, then suddenly there is a snap and he feels his head spin.

Ben’s eyes burst open and he is met with his uncle’s piercing blue ones. Ben is gasping for breath as Luke reaches out to grab his shoulder.

“You’re alright, Ben.”

With wide eyes he says, “What happened? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, this is a skill we have to perfect. It's not easy, but you did well, Ben. This takes a lot of focus and strength; we have to keep working on reaching further and further. This could take a while.”

With furrowed brows, Ben nods. Lightheaded and dizzy, he gives his head a little shake.

“Why don’t you go rest, I’m sure that took a lot out of you.”

“Yes, Master.”

“We will try again tomorrow.”

***

“Hello, I’m Luke.”

The man in front Rey is still holding her hand, gently shaking it. Confused, her face scrunches up, she has never seen this man before or anyone like him. She pulls her hand away swiftly and holds it to her chest.

With both hands up, he says, “You don’t need to be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Rey stays silent, still looking weary.

“I did just save your life you know. I’m the reason that thing stopped attacking you.”

“That was you? How?”

“The same way you fought off the other guy, with the force.”

Rey becomes even more confused, “The force? Who are you and what are you talking about?”

Luke chuckles, looking at the little girl with amusement in his eyes, “I’m Luke Skywalker, I am a Jedi. And the force, well, the force is in everything, every person, creature, and plant. It is the balance of the galaxy.”

Rey has heard of Jedi before, but only in passing, she knows they’re some kind of warriors, most long dead, and she's heard “Skywalker” before but only from whispers. She has no real idea of anything he’s talking about.

“Well Mr. Skywalker, I need to get these back to Niima Outpost, you can follow me there if you like.”

Considering her offer, Luke nods his head and says, “Okay, thank you. And you are?”

“I’m Rey,” she says then walks over and picks up her staff, pointing in the direction they will be heading. She should feel worried, but she’s not. For some reason this man seems good; she just has a feeling that he truly doesn’t mean to harm her and, like he said, he did save her life.

As their feet slip through the sand, she looks at him from the corner of her eye. He’s old, his hair beginning to grey, it’s a sandy color that is just long enough to cover his ears and he has a short beard. She thinks he looks wise. The color of his eyes stays in her head, a blue hue she had never seen in anyone's eyes before. She walks a pace or two behind him, waiting for him to say something. But he doesn’t, Rey is confused. What did he mean he used the force like she did? She doesn’t even really know what the force is. The same questions play in her head over and over again, until finally, her curiosity takes over. She whips around in the sand; her eyes immediately turn up to look at the eyes of the man behind her.

“What did you mean when you said you used the force like I did? Because I don’t have much and I’m sure that whatever this force thing is I don't have it.”

He turns to look down at the girl and laughs, “I told you, the force isn’t a possession, its inside everything, all around us. And sometimes, there are people who are more sensitive to it. Like me.”

“But-” Rey interrupts, a childish whine at the edge of her voice. but 

Luke continues, unfazed, “like you.”

Rey’s face scrunches up in confusion, surely he has to be taking her for a fool, this can’t be real. As absurd as it sounds, it makes sense. How else could she have done the things she had done? She doesn’t notice but they have both stopped; she stares at the ground as Luke watches the emotions play on her face, her round cheeks turn rosier.

“I can help you,” Luke tells her softly, “there’s a place where I help people like us, force sensitives, learn about the force and how to use it, to learn the ways of the Jedi.”

Rey looks up from the sand with furrowed brows; she opens her mouth to say something but a frustrated _hmph _comes out instead. She pivots on her heel and walks away from this strange old man. She doesn’t know what to say to him, so she doesn’t say anything, she keeps walking. She doesn’t hear any footsteps behind her or see his shadow approaching. She contemplates looking back but doesn’t. 

Rey kept going, and finally reached Niima Outpost. While walking, she never looked back at this “Luke Skywalker”, but she knew he was close behind, she could feel it. As she draws nearer to Plutt’s window, she turns and finds Luke standing a few feet away, doing nothing. Just standing there in the sand and sun, looking completely out of place. Some people walking by give him odd looks, but he doesn’t seem to pay them any attention, just watches her. With a frustrated _huff _Rey walks toward where she cleans her findings. Keeping her bag close, she takes out an item and begins cleaning it.

Rey walks away from Plutt’s window with eight portions and a child-like skip in her step. This more food than the seven-year-old has ever seen on this planet. She treads through the sand, on her way to her AT-AT, when she feels a hand grasp her shoulder. 

“Rey-”

Swiftly, she brings her staff up to the throat of the person touching her. She is met with Luke, she had meant to hit him, but he seems to have stepped back just in time.

“You can’t sneak up on someone like that,” Rey tells him with a frown.

Luke’s hands shoot up in surrender, “Sorry kid, I didn’t mean to startle you, I just want to talk.”

“Okay, talk while we walk.”

“Where are we walking to?” Luke asks, sounding amused.

“_I’m _going home.”

“Okay” he responds, keeping in stride with the little girl. “What do you know of the Jedi?”

Rey shrugs, “Not much of anything. I know that they were once warriors that fought bad Jedi, as you called them, and lost.”

“Yes, they fought ‘bad Jedi’ known as the Sith” Luke laughs, more to himself than to her, “The Jedi are meant to maintain the balance of the force.”

Rey is quiet for a little, then laughs to herself, “is that what you’re doing, Mr. Skywalker, maintaining the balance of the force?”

Luke laughs, “Yes, I am trying to. Me and my students are.”

Rey nods and keeps walking.

“I think you could.” Luke says.

“You think I could, what?” Rey stops and turns to him with furrowed eyebrows.

“I think you could help maintain balance in the force.”

“What?”

Ignoring her question Luke continues, “I can teach you. Back on Yavin 4 there is a training temple. You are very strong with the force Rey; you need a teacher.”

“Yavin 4?” Rey scoffs, “I can't leave here. My family _is _coming back for me and I have to be here when they do”

Tears begin running down her face and she sprints away, leaving Luke confused. Her AT-AT isn’t too far, maybe once she’s inside he’ll just leave her alone. She keeps pushing forward on her skinny legs as he yells her name. She doesn’t look back.

Once back in her AT-AT, she stops and takes gasping breaths with her head down and hands on her knees. Her throat feels as if it is made of sand. She reaches for her canteen, desperately opening it and brings it to her lips. She gets a sip before it is gone; she growls with frustration and throws it at her wall of tick marks. In her rush to get home and Luke distracting her, she forgot to refill her water. She keeps an extra canteen under her makeshift bed for emergencies, angrily she walks over to it. She grabs it and takes a drink… two… three, then forces herself to stop. She needs water for her portions for tonight and tomorrow. She prepares a portion while tears continue to stream down her face. _I can’t go. They’re coming back. I can’t go. They’re coming back. I can’t go. They’re coming back. _She repeats in her head, eyes squeezed shut. Then she hears that voice that has begun to strike fear in her. 

_They’re gone, stupid child!_

“They are not gone!” She yells with her hands on either side of her head. Sobs wrack through her little frame as she trembles with the emotions hitting her chest.

_They’re dead! You killed them._

“No! It’s not true!” 

Rey continues to cry, looking at the polystarch bread, deciding to leave it for the morning. She walks over to her bed and lays on her side, making herself as small as possible. She mutters to herself that her parents are alive and coming back for her over and over, to the point that it doesn’t sound like words anymore. Eventually she drifts to sleep with a salt-soaked face and swollen eyes.

Rey wakes up to banging noises above her. Confused she gets up and grabs her staff to go see what is going on. As she stands in front of her AT-AT, she finds Luke Skywalker sitting on top of it.

“Oi! What are you doing up there?”

He opens one eye and smiles, “I’m meditating. The outpost was kind of loud, out here it’s more peaceful.”

“Well could you get down?”

“Okay.”

He gets down with ease and stands in front of Rey with a soft smile. She just looks at him, confused.

“What are you doing?” she asks incredulously.

“I told you, the outp-”

“No, what are you _still _doing here? I’ve told you. I’m not leaving.”

Luke nods and says, “Yes, I know that Rey, but I want to tell you a story. Will you let me tell it?”

She looks at him with furrowed brows but beneath them, curiosity gleams in her eyes. Letting it win, she agrees.

Before either can do anything, Rey’s stomach grumbles and her cheeks heat.

“Why don’t you eat something first? I’ll wait out here.”

Rey nods and begins to walk back inside her AT-AT, then she turns watching the man standing patiently.

“Y-you can come in, lessen the heat a bit.”

Luke turns to her, his eyes softening as he says, “Okay, thank you.”

Inside, Rey grabs the portion she abandoned last night and takes a seat on her bed. Luke leans against the wall opposite her.

Beginning to rip the grey bread in half, she says, “would like some?”

“Oh no, that's okay. I ate on my ship earlier.”

She shrugs and takes a bite, filling her cheeks. After chewing for a while, she washes it down with a small drink of her water.

“What is this story you want to tell me?”

“It is about a young boy who grew up on a desert planet, much like this one, called Tatooine. He was strong with the force and-”

“Are you talking about you?” Rey interrupts.

Luke says nothing but gives her a look that says enough; she presses her lips firmly together, forming a straight line. 

He continues, “Anyway, he was strong with the force and came from nothing. He seemed to have no true purpose in life, living as a slave with his mother, belonging to a junk trader. He was a child when he was found by two Jedi. They sensed the power in the boy and offered to train him in their ways.”

Rey listens, becoming more intrigued with every word.

“You see, they believed he was the Chosen One, meant to bring balance to the force. He didn’t want to leave his mother but after winning his freedom, he was convinced to join the Jedi. It was over many years, that he became one of the most powerful Jedi, but lost his way. He succumbed to fear and temptation of the dark side. It was then that he became Darth Vader.”

Rey gasped, she knew _that_ name and the horrors committed by him. 

“If the Jedi failed him and pushed him to become Darth Vader, why would I want to join that?” she asks Luke, perplexed.

Surprised by the bluntness of her question, he says, “because, Rey, he was my father and I was able to turn him back to the light, he died saving my life. I saw where the old Jedi failed, I will not make the same mistakes.”

Rey looks away, biting her lip, thinking of the dark. She has a name for it now, that has been what she has been feeling on this god forsaken planet.

As if hearing her struggle, Luke asks, “Can I show you how to feel the balance of the force?”

After a breath, Rey slowly nods her head.

Luke leads Rey back outside, to the top of her AT-AT where they now sit, facing each other with their legs crossed.

“The force isn’t a power that force sensitives have, it’s energy between all things, it keeps the universe together.”

She nods, “Okay, and we get to have that energy? How?”

Luke smiles, “Through feeling. Close your eyes.”

She looks hesitant.

“You’ll be fine, I promise.”

She takes a deep breath and slowly her eyelids sink down.

Gently, Luke says, “Breathe and reach out. Reach with your feelings.”

Rey’s brows furrow as she tries to do as he tells her, concentrating on pushing her feelings out. Suddenly, she feels like her mind is soaring through the sand, the sun, and the heat of Jakku. She feels the muscles in her face relax.

In an echoing whisper she hears, “What do you see?”

“The desert.” 

Her voice comes out soft as she lets out a childish giggle. Her mind continues to fly as she tells Luke what she is witnessing. _Life_, a traveler taking a happy gulp of cold water. _Death_, a rotting steelpecker half buried in the sand. _Heat_, the sun beaming on a scavenger as he wipes sweat from his face. _Cool_, a happabore lays its mouth and snout in a pool of water. _Peace_, an old woman in a hut eating with a content smile on her face. _Violence_, Plutt pushes an uthuthma to the ground in anger. 

“And between it all?”

Her face beams with wonder, Rey says, “Balance… a-a a force?”

“Yes, and within you?”

“The same force,” she states, feeling a rush of happiness she’s never felt in her seven years. 

“This is what-”

Rey’s joy is snatched away. She suddenly takes a sharp intake of breath, immediately cutting Luke off.

“What is it Rey?” he asks worriedly.

“There’s something else,” her voice trembles with fear, “something f-far away, it's reaching for me.”

Her chest begins to move rapidly as she gasps for air. She sees a dark place, feeling cold in a way she's never felt before. Her mind seems to slowly move deeper into where she has gone, equally terrified and curious. _Rey_. Suddenly, a mangled face flashes mere inches from her face, when a bright light pulls her mind away. 

Blinded, she opens her eyes. She is met with Luke’s face, he is holding her face in his hands; she assumes he was trying to shake her from her trance. She hears him say her name, but she is too busy taking in the scene around her. Sand is falling from the air, settling around her and Luke. Parts of the AT-AT look to have been crunched, where she is sitting has sunken down as if something pushed it to form a dent. 

“Rey! What did you see?”

She shakes her head, shedding tears she hadn't realized had formed, “I don’t know.”

His hands drop from her face; he looks worried, like he’s realized some horror that she doesn't understand.

Rey’s eyes dart back and forth, “Did I do this?”

His eyes meet hers as he slowly nods, “Rey, that was the dark side, you have to resist it.”

“It was calling me,” she knows the voice she heard, it has been haunting her since her parents.

She whispers, “I’m scared.”

Luke looks this terrified little girl in the eyes and says, “I can help you, if you come with me.”

Searching his eyes, for what, she's not sure, but she steadies her trembling lips and nods. Rey knows that what she felt is coming for her and her only hope is the man in front of her.

***

The sun is setting on Yavin 4, casting purple hues across the sky. Luke had left in the early hours of the day to find the force user. They had finally reached out far enough the day before, finding a little girl on some desert planet Ben hadn’t heard of. He had insisted on going with his uncle, but Luke said he didn’t want to frighten or overwhelm her. In his uncle’s absence, Ben decided to visit the place where he once called upon the voice. He didn’t go there reaching for it anymore, he just wanted to see what the place would feel like now. 

The first day he and Luke looked for the girl, he felt the change within himself. He had been nervous, but now he feels utterly calm; like the force washed over him that day and took his negative thoughts with it. As he listens to the soft sounds of life buzzing in the forest, he feels what he realized that day. His place isn’t in the dark, it is in the balance of the force. Before, Ben had found it difficult to find himself in the light; he was always too emotional and too impulsive. When he heard the voice, he let it seduce him to the dark. He thought that was where he belonged, where he could let his volatile emotions rule and gain strength from them, but he learned that was a false promise. 

Since working with Luke, Ben has never felt so at peace, but he’s stopped looking for the light or the dark. Now, he just looks for the force, for balance, and he’s beginning to find it. As he takes deep breaths, he feels the light flood him more easily than it ever had. He isn’t straining to grip something that always felt out of reach, now it comes to him, it welcomes him. Sitting in the spot where he once felt shrouded in darkness, he no longer feels anger, or isolation, or dejection. Ben is flooded with peace and hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I know this took forever but college and life got in the way and also TROS inspired me to start some other things so keep an eye out for that ;) Thank you to my betas and a big thank you to @Hydra_bitch_please01 for the mood board! I don't know when I'm going to post chapter three, I'm hoping motivation stays with me.  
Find me on twitter: https://twitter.com/geekygabriela15


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I'm not very good at using AO3 lmao so if things looked/look a little wonky sorry I'm doing my best. Enjoy the chapter!

193.

That was the number of days Rey had spent on Jakku. 193 days of slaving through the wreckage of a war long forgotten and half-buried in a graveyard of sand, metal, and decay. She had forgotten to carve the marks for those last two days in her little makeshift home. Those marks had become the least of her worries. Now, she sits in Luke’s ship as he flies them away from the only place she has ever known. As she flies further and further away she thinks about her final moments on Jakku; leaving with Luke unseen, all while this new discovery of the Darkside was still churning in her mind. Luke told her to grab her things and then they could leave for Yavin 4. Rey had looked around her home, grabbing her doll, the pilot helmet, her staff, and the few portions she had, putting everything but the staff in her scavenging bag. Luke had offered to hold the staff for her, but she refused, clutching her meager possessions with tiny fists. Rey had paused for a moment, letting the sun burn on her skin for the last time, saying her goodbye to this place, this life. As they got to Luke’s ship, she pictured the look on Unkar Plutt’s face when he discovers her gone. That had brought a real smile to her face.

Rey had never been in hyperspace, maybe she had before Jakku, but that is another time forgotten. Looking out the viewport, her eyes widen as she gapes at the streaks of stars dancing across her eyes. There’s an odd sort of wonder bubbling in her chest but fear still tugs at the back of her mind. 

“They’re pretty, huh?”

Rey jumps at the sudden sound of Luke’s voice behind her. 

He chuckles and puts his hands up in surrender, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

She doesn’t say anything as she watches him make his way to the seat next to her. Quietly, he sits; she feels like he wants to say something to her, but silence hangs in the air. Rey runs her thumb over the face of her little pilot, searching for comfort.

“What do you have there?”

Her eyes meet his, his voice sounding gentler than it has since she met him.

Staying silent, she holds it out to him. Luke’s hand comes up to touch the doll, but he seems to think better of it. Rey sees an emotion cross his face, but she’s not sure what it is.

She looks down at the doll she made for herself, her little pilot, and the ghost of a smile rests on her lips. Quickly, she brings the doll to her chest, feeling like she’s done something wrong. With her eyes shut, she remembers where she had gotten the means to make the doll. Maybe that had been wrong.

Luke lets out a long sigh, “You don’t have to be afraid, Rey, I think you’ll like the temple. Make friends with the other students.”

Her head turns sharply as she stares at the man once again, a challenge in her eyes, “How would you know?”

The corner of his lip quirks, “I guess I don’t, but I'm hopeful you will.”

Closing her eyes, Rey takes a deep breath and decides to try and keep her mind busy, “Do you have a lot of students?”

“I have a little over twenty students. Most are around your age, but some are older.”

She nods looking down at her doll, then back out the viewport.

Answering his question from before she whispers, “They are pretty.” 

She feels his eyes on her for a few moments before he gets up and goes back to the cockpit; she’s alone again. Watching hyperspace fly by her, she feels the smallest whisper of cold run down her spine. Her heart beats a little faster like the cold is warning her of something; she chooses to ignore it. 

The ship jostles Rey awake. She hadn’t realized she’d fallen asleep, curled up on the seating under the viewport. 

“Hey, kid!”

She turns her head towards the direction she heard Luke’s voice. Rubbing her eyes, she walks toward the cockpit. 

As she steps next to Luke in the pilot’s chair, her eyes widen with amazement. She had never seen anything like it. The planet they are inching closer to is gorgeous with greens and blues she had never seen before. She feels her breath catch in her throat as she tries to find the words to describe it.

“It’s - it’s so b-beautiful.”

Her eyes start to well up with tears. They aren’t bitter, like the ones she cried back on Jakku; these are tears of pure wonder.

Out of excitement, she turns to look at Luke, who has a warm smile as he looks down at her. They say nothing, which she doesn’t mind, and immediately she turns to look once more.

The ship lands in a small clearing, Rey notices wooden buildings littering the area not too far away. There is one large building with a dome-like structure in the middle, surrounding it are clusters of smaller huts. Luke leads her out of the ship and as soon as her feet touch the ground her senses are instantly intrigued. A breeze she has never felt before kisses her skin. She steps out further, the air isn’t dry like she’s used to, she feels moisture and isn’t sure if she likes it or not. The ground is softer and green, her eyes travel up and she notices a plant. Her feet seem to lead with a mind of their own and suddenly there’s a leaf in her hands. It’s smooth and delicate, she caresses it with the tips of her fingers, afraid she’ll hurt it.

She turns, excitement exploding from her chest, “I’ve never seen this much green in the whole galaxy!”

Luke walks over to her and chuckles, “Come on, there’s a lot more to see.”

With the leaf still in her grasp, she brings it to her nose and takes a deep smell, her own little goodbye to it.

There’s so much to look at, Rey isn’t sure what to focus on. Luke isn’t talking much, surely letting her take it all in. They get closer to the largest building, Rey looks to him, waiting for an explanation. 

With a quiet smile, he takes a breath, “This is the Great Temple.”

Rey’s eyes widen as they get closer, it's bigger than she thought.

“Can we go in?”

She doesn't look at Luke, but she hears the smile in his voice, “Of course.”

They trek up a slight hill, Rey’s fingers graze the tall grasses around her. She giggles as it tickles the palms of her hands. Luke smirks down at her and a bubble wells up in Rey’s chest. The look he gives her seems so warm. She just giggles more, feeling her cheeks beginning to ache, she has never smiled this much in her life.

There is no door to the Great Temple, just a small archway. She steps into a wide room with low ceilings and long hallways on either side that lead to more archways and doors. Rey turns her head looking left then right.

“That way is the dining hall,” he points to the left, then points to the right, “Over there is where some of the training rooms are.”

With a twinkle in her eye, Rey takes a step to the right. 

Luke places his hand on her shoulder, “Not yet.”

Rey nods her head as she watches Luke take a step forward. He leads them into a room, it's wide and round, there are shelves full of books lining the walls and a couple in the open.

“This is the library. It is where we keep books on Jedi teachings, history, planets, and lots of other things”

Rey looks around with her mouth wide, she walks around a table to look at the spine of a delicate-looking book. She runs her hands along the whole self, gently caressing the spines bound by leather and other materials Rey doesn't know the names of. She feels Luke inch closer to her, she glances up, knowing he has more to say.

“Once you’re all settled, you can come here and look at all the books you want.”

She smiles, “Okay! Can we see the rest?”

He nods his head towards a staircase, “Come on.”

The second floor is almost completely bare. There are strips of light beaming in through the slit windows that adorn the dome-shaped room’s walls.

“This is the main temple. This is where students come for meditation exercises and some non-combative force training.”

Rey looks around, it makes sense that there would be minimal furniture then. She walks over to the center of the room, slowly spinning, watching the way the sun illuminates from every side, but the room is also full of shadows. She begins to feel very at ease, without really thinking, she closes her eyes.

“I feel it,” she says this more to herself, but it still finds Luke’s ears, “the force.”

He says nothing, she opens her eyes to see he didn't move, just stood and watched her with a content lift at the corners of his mouth.

“Shall we see the rest?”

Rey nods, taking enthusiastic strides to Luke, she walks with an airiness she never had before.

Outside, the air still feels the same, this brings another smile to Rey’s lips. She never expected to feel so comfortable here, not this quickly. She thought she might miss the sands of Jakku, but she never really enjoyed it anyway. The grass here is soft and smells fresh, she can practically feel the life of this planet through her feet. As she and Luke walk towards the courtyard area, Rey sees a handful of students, they look to be about her age. There’s about six of them, all holding sticks as a young woman demonstrates something with a stick of her own. 

“We can go say hello, if you like?” Luke tells her.

Suddenly feeling a flutter in her stomach and her mouth grow dry, she clears her throat, “T-that’s okay. What are those buildings?”

Luke looks down at her, slightly puzzled, “That larger building is where the younger padawans stay, they each have their own room. That is where you will stay. These smaller ones are huts, the older students live in them.”

Rey begins walking towards it, she chances a glance at the other padawans, but most are focused on their sticks. Her eyes land on the young woman, who is watching her and Luke, she nods in a silent greeting. Rey quickly nods back, immediately returning her eyes to the grass.

Luke shows Rey to her room. It's at the end of a long hallway with eight doors on each side, she assumes these are the other padawans’ rooms. Luke pushes the door; it creaks open and she follows him in. The room is a box, with a bed against one wall and a small compartment for storage against the opposite wall. Rey puts her sack down in the middle of the room, she smiles.

“It’s nice. Better than an AT-AT and I won't have to worry about sand getting into everything.”

Luke chuckles as he watches Rey plop onto the bed. She runs her small hands over the blanket, looking around at this new room she gets to call her own. 

“Come on, you’ll have plenty of time to enjoy your room later.”

She follows Luke back outside, the padawans are gone. They walk towards the huts; Rey assumes he’s going to show her what one looks like on the inside. She looks around at the few trees coming from the ground. She likes the way the leaves make the sunlight dance. Her eyes travel down a tree up ahead, she is surprised to see someone sitting against it. He has something in his hands, a concentrating look furrowing his brow and wrinkling his forehead. Luke seems to be leading them towards him. Rey watches him with minor fascination. As they approach, his features get easier to see. He has large ears poking out from the bottom of his mop of dark hair. His face is very serious as he looks down his prominent nose at whatever it is he is doing. She and Luke now stand right in front of the boy, he doesn't even notice them. Rey feels herself imitating the frown on his face, she imagines how ridiculous she must look and snorts. Luke gives her a smile then his attention turns back to the gangly boy sitting at the tree.

***

Ben takes a deep inhale through his nose, turning his pen around in his fingers, as he breathes in the calm of the tree he is sitting under. He reads the words he had written then struck through. He sat down with every intention to write another letter to his mother, he was planning on sending this one, but it didn't feel right. He dips the pen back into the ink and begins to write to himself. Telling himself that he is enough, and right now he’s trying and that's all his uncle has ever really asked of him. 

Suddenly, he hears a soft snort from his left. He turns to find a little girl, she’s not in padawan robes, she looks to be wearing scraps. Her hair is up in three little buns, she looks like she’s seen a lot of sun, there are freckles dotting the bridge of her nose and more along her arms. His eyes shift over to see Luke standing next to the girl, looking bemused. 

“Uh,” he clears his throat, “did you say something?”

Luke chuckles, “Ben, this is Rey, she’s decided to stay.”

Ben looks to the little girl, Rey, and he can’t help the slight curve that pulls at the corners of his lips. Excitement rolls off her, he was expecting this girl to be scared like he was when he first came here, but she’s not. Her eyes don't leave his, almost challenging him to look away. _What kind of place is Jakku? This girl is fearless. _Ben opens himself to the force ever so slightly, trying to get a feel for her force signature. She seems to glow, but there is a dark edge to her that's been hardened. She seems almost _familiar_.

“Ben, can you finish showing Rey around, take her to the dining hall to get something to eat? I have some matters I need to attend to.”

He wants to say no, but he knows that this isn't really a question. He looks back at Rey, she gives him a hopeful look; he can’t help but nod. Luke bows his head in appreciation and walks away. 

Ben stays seated in the grass as he watches his uncle get further and further away. Rey plops herself down where she was standing, she doesn’t say anything, just looks at him with wide eyes full of curiosity. Feeling uneasy, he tries to think of something to say, maybe he should just stand up and lead her to the dining hall, she’d probably follow. Before he can decide, she grabs a crumpled piece of parchment from the ground. She opens it up, spreading it out on her knee.

“What is this?”

Ben grabs it from her quickly, once again crumpling it in his hand.

“That’s not yours to read,” he tells her sternly.

Their eyes meet, her face scrunches in confusion. He watches her open her mouth to say something then close it, she doesn’t look hurt. Her brows slowly lose their tension, her nose slowly uncrinkling. Then suddenly it clicks for Ben.

“You don’t know how to read.” he doesn’t pose this as a question.

She just looks at him, staying silent. For a few moments, they stay like that as Ben searches her face for the life she's lived on Jakku.

“What are you doing?” she asks him, her small hand pointing to the parchment scroll and pen in his hands.

She looks back up at him with genuine interest.

The corner of his mouth quirks, “It’s a little outdated. Most people use datapads and the holonet, but I like calligraphy. To physically write, it’s calming.”

Ben bites the inside of his cheek and runs his hand through his hair, he’s never really been good with the younger padawans, most of them are scared of him. But this girl doesn’t seem frightened at all, he takes a calming breath. He pulls out fresh parchment from his scroll and writes his name. He feels Rey’s eyes watching his hand, he glances at her seeing her eyes grow impossibly wider and her lips part slightly in awe.

“It’s pretty,” she says with a small smile.

“Thank you. I, uh, I could teach you, if you want.”

She quietly gasps, bringing her eyes to his. He feels like she’s searching for something, but he’s not sure what.

“I could show you how to read and write, start with something simple?”

“Yes, I want to learn.”

“Okay, for now here,” he dips the pen and hands it to her along with the parchment, “you can just play around with it.”

She smiles, picking up the pen and holding it in her hand, trying to figure out how to hold it, eventually just wrapping her hand around it and striking it down onto the parchment as if it were a knife.

Ben chuckles, holding his hand out, “May I?”

She drops it into his open palm. He shows her how to hold it between two fingers and his thumb. Nodding, she takes it from him, copying his actions.

Once again, Rey presses it to the parchment and draws one line. It's wobbly, she rips a small hole from pressing too hard. He watches her as realization crosses her features, she scoffs to herself. She brings the pen down, more delicately this time, and starts drawing swirls. Her lines are shaky and at times she still presses down too hard. She looks totally focused on her task as she draws random lines, shapes, and swirls. Ben feels his face soften, watching her enjoy something so trivial. He laughs to himself when the corner of her tongue pokes out of the edge of her lips. 

“There,” she drops the pen and shows the parchment to Ben happily.

A laugh escapes him, quick and full of surprise.

“Hey, that’s not bad!”

Among the random swirls and lines and drops of ink, is his name again. Ben Solo, but it’s shaky and messy, but endearing. Rey had tried to copy what he had written near the top.

“What’s it ‘spose to say?”

“My name, Ben Solo.”

She smiles at him and he can’t help but smile back. He shows her a couple more letters and she tries her best to copy them. They’re interrupted by the sound of her stomach rumbling.

“Come on, let’s go get something to eat.”

***

Rey stands by the tree as she waits for Ben to come back. He told her to wait there while he put his things away and then they could go to the dining hall. She’s been running her fingers along the bark of the tree, feeling the toughness of it, occasionally picking off a piece and crumbling it in her hand. She looks up to find Ben walking towards her, she takes a few steps to meet him. He leads the way back towards the dining hall. He’s not walking fast but his long legs make big strides, Rey tries to take a step as wide as his and almost falls. He looks down at her, smirking. She feels her cheeks heat and softly laughs.

They arrive at the entrance to the dining hall, it’s not a very large room but there are a handful of other students there. She stops right before stepping inside and feels her heart thump a little harder in her chest than usual, she’s worried about what they’ll think of her. Ben looks back at her, a question on his face.

“You alright Rey?”

She gives him a quick smile that doesn’t reach her eyes and nods. She catches up to him, saying nothing. He doesn’t look convinced, but Rey pretends like she doesn't notice.

“Don’t worry about them, they’re harmless. Most of them are just excited to meet someone new,” he leans down and tells her softly.

She hears him but is surprised when she takes a deep breath and is hit with an aroma that smells better than anything she has ever smelt. She doesn’t even understand what these smells are but they make her head spin and mouth water.

“It smells so good in here.”

“Yeah that's the food, what do you want?”

With awe, she says, “I don’t know, anything.”

Ben nods and grabs a little bit of everything for her then whatever he wants for himself. He leads them towards an empty table. Rey glances around at the few students around the room, she meets some of their eyes but quickly looks away. No one says anything to her, but she feels nervous all the same. Ben sets down their trays across from each other, she sits down and her eyes immediately devour the food in front of her. She grabs a fruit and sinks her teeth into the sweet flesh. She thinks she might cry, the juice is so sweet, exploding on her taste buds.

She groans, “This is delicious. I had seen fruit on Jakku before but could never have it.”

She starts taking big bites of everything on her tray, shoveling food quickly making her cheeks swell. She pays no attention to Ben, too excited and enraptured by the flavors on her tongue. She only stops when someone sits down next to Ben. Slowly her eyes rake up the newcomer’s chest and her eyes meet his. He is a Togruta, she had only ever seen one on Jakku once.

“Why, who’s this?” he says with an enthusiastic smile.

“I’m Rey,” she tells him through a mouth full of food.

“Nice to meet you, Rey. I’m Titus.”

She gives him a small smile with food covering her chin. Titus takes a bite of his own food, happily chewing. Rey goes back to the fruit in her hand, taking another large bite. She glances at Ben, who seems unfazed as he begins to eat his food too. Looking around, Rey sees another older student walk in, she is reminded of a time in the cantina on Jakku.

“Who’s the squid head?” she nods her head in the direction of the door.

Ben chokes as Titus turns to look in the direction Rey motioned; he lets out a hearty laugh.

“Rey,” Ben says in a harsh whisper, “you _can’t_ call him that! His name is Hennix.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know. That's what people said on Jakku.”

Titus stifles his laughter, “Hey, it’s alright. Calm down Solo, she's just a kid. And the look on your face was hilarious.”

Rey is pulled from the moment when she hears it.

_Look at them. They are already weary of you._

The smile that had formed on her lips instantly falls.

That grating voice is in her head, once again turning her blood to ice. She thought she had left it on Jakku, thought it was just something evil living in that hell of a planet. But she was wrong.

She looks around at the small groups of students sitting around at the other tables. A few of them keep glancing her way and whispering amongst themselves.

_They know._

She squeezes her eyes shut, balling her fists.

_They feel your darkness. _

Rey feels her throat clench and tears filling behind her eyelids.

“Hey, you okay Rey?”

_Murderer!_

She jumps at the sudden sound of Ben’s voice.

“Y-yeah. I’m fine. Just uh bit my tongue.”

She sounds unconvincing to her own ears. She avoids his eyes and stares down at her food, but he doesn't press her. She feels Ben and Titus’s eyes, so she begins eating her food again without looking up. As she chews, it begins to feel like sand, but she can't let them think anything is wrong with her. She swallows hard, feeling almost strangled by the lump in her throat. What would they think if they knew?

_They’ll hate you._

***

Ben paces in his room as he thinks of the strange little girl, Rey. She is not what he was expecting, she is so full of hope, but he felt a change in her while in the dining hall. When they were by the tree she was so happy and excited. In the dining hall, he felt a shift in the force, she was struggling with something, but she wouldn't tell him. Once they finished their meal in silence he asked her if there was anything else she wanted to see, but she told him no that she just wanted to go back to her room, that it had been a long day. He felt like she was lying to him, but he let her go, telling her to get some rest. As the sun was setting, he had walked back to his hut, unable to shake his worry for Rey. She had so drastically become quiet and almost scared, from what Ben did not know. 

As he paces, he replays what happened in the dining hall over and over in his head. He had stopped paying attention to Rey for a few moments, listening to Titus’s ramblings of something about other padawans, but then he felt it. His heart began to beat minutely faster, but he didn’t understand why. That was when he looked to Rey, her eyes squeezed shut and her fists clenched. He wants to know what was troubling her, wants to help with whatever it is that-

There is a soft knock at his door, rattling him from his thoughts.

“Ben?” his uncle says.

He walks over to the door letting him in.

“Master,” he says with a half-hearted smile.

“How was Rey?”

“She seems fine, excited even.”

“But?” Luke asks sensing something off with his nephew

Ben hesitates, unsure of what to tell Luke.

“I don’t know, she just- I don’t know. She seems to have lived a hard life,” he looks down, avoiding his uncle’s eyes, “and she seemed genuinely happy and excited to be here.”

“Something changed,” Luke doesn’t pose this as a question.

“Yes,” Ben says, becoming animated. “She suddenly became very quiet, she seemed worried.”

“I am going to be honest with you Ben, _I_ am worried for her. While on Jakku, I saw just how strong she is with the force, a strength she has no comprehension of. But I also felt a darkness surrounding her. It seeks her power and she has let it in.”

There is a pause, Ben says nothing waiting for Luke to continue.

“I have felt this darkness once before,” his uncle takes a pause that seems to last a moment too long, “in you.”

Ben sucks in a breath, shocked, he stares at his uncle.

“It was never anything that scared me,” Luke says calmly, “I expected it even, Skywalker blood practically invites it. I had felt the pull to the dark when I was younger. I knew you would find your way Ben, and it was always so quiet. With Rey, the dark side is loud. She is so strong, and I worry that the pull will be too great.”

“I’ll help her,” Ben’s voice is firm, “I can keep an eye on her, she’s still so young. She needs someone to look out for her.”

Luke nods, “We’ll have to. I trust you to help me keep her on the right path. She’s lived a life so far that has led her to lean into the dark side without even realizing it. She can learn to fight that, as you have. There’s a fire in her that reminds me very much of you, Ben.”

“Of course, master.” 

They share a look of understanding; Ben nods his head in respect. Luke does the same and leaves the hut. Taking a deep breath, Ben realizes why he had felt so comfortable with Rey. She is more like him than he thought and if what his uncle says is true, he has to keep Rey safe from whatever it is that's reaching for her. He won't let that girl struggle the way he had; she has struggled enough on that desert planet he’s sure was unloving. He knows that he has his own Jedi path to pursue, but he needs to protect her in whatever way he can. Ben knows there is a dark power growing somewhere, he hasn't forgotten that voice. He thinks maybe the voice and Rey could be connected, but that is just a feeling. Rey could be in danger, and if they are as similar as Luke thinks, then she has to know that she’s not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading I hope you liked it! I don't know when the next chapter will be up but there will be a time jump so get ready for that ;) Also if anyone has ideas for tags I should add please let me know!

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on twitter @geekygabriela  
Comments and Kudos are always appreciated!


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